remembering my grandpa
Today my grandfather passed away.
It's the first close loss I've had in nearly 17 years.
It's interesting to me how an instant loneliness appears.
A hole only my grandfather could fill.
For now I keep fondly remembering all I can about him to try and shrink the void.
I was lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents play a big part of my entire life.
In a sense we were neighbors you see.
My greatest childhood luxury was the convenience of being able to drop in at my pleasing.
Often I'd find my grandpa out in the yard
But without hesitation he would join me wherever i was going.
He found the perfect balance of being a large part of my life without being overbearing or prying.
He was perfectly interested in what I was doing and what was important to me.
I always knew he loved me-
He was kind and gentle and meek and patient and accepting.
His soul was made to exhibit a perfect kind of love.
He loved my grandmother in a beautiful way.
It was an art form the way he went about it-
The medium of love he showed me became my love goal.
I hope I can learn to love the way he did.
I'd say every time I saw or spoke to him he told me "we sure do love you" or "just love you" a minimum of 3 times, usually in the > 5 range.
It was said genuinely- every time I knew he knew he loved me and wanted me to desperately know.
I knew grandpa.
I'm forever grateful you let me know constantly.
You're actions scram it even if you had never said a word.
I always will remember how mild mannered he always was to me.
He never raised his voice at me or anyone else while I was around him.
There was nothing not to like about being in his company.
Genuinely caring
Interested
Kind
Patient
Easy to talk to
Understanding
Accepting
I often found myself just needing to be at my grandparents.
To feel better about who I was.
To feel better about life.
That's the type of home my grandparents built.
The type where you could sit for hours just being.
The type where company frequented.
The type that felt like home.
The type where I belonged, always.
There was always food, candy, ice cream, or a treat of some sort- when I was younger I didn't get it.
I didn't get it was their way of saying, "we want you here".
Now I do.
You see, sometimes the type of love a person wants to express can't be said;
It's expressed in the fixing of a meal,
a listening ear,
a listening ear,
clean sheets hanging on a line,
or a simple stick of gum.
My grandparents constantly surrounded me with a beautifully simple, yet a complex kind of love.
My grandpa was courageous.
It takes a new level of courage to master one's self.
Mastering anger with patience,
self indulgence with restraint, unkindness with long suffering,
He showed me I can become my positive traits because he never showed me his negative ones.
My grandfather found a real kind of happiness.
Even in his dying days from cancer when asked how he was, his response "I'm right good."
You are good grandpa.
You are great.
A good man is remembered,
A great one is never really gone because his impact is undeniably intertwined in the fabric of many's lives.
Because you were great you'll never really be gone.
I see you in my dad,
I see you in myself,
And I see you in everyone else's lives you impacted.
Thank you for helping me become a better me by being such a wonderfully great you.
I will think of you every time I see hundreds of teeny tiny things.
A fine few include:
Suspenders
Toffee
A bag of ice
A good buzz haircut
A perfect scoop of ice cream
A variety of candy
The Readers digest
A rocking chair
Aftershave
A can of soda
School buses
Old milk bottles
Gas stations
Every time I see a thing that reminds me of you I won't be able to help but smile;
because by finding happiness yourself you helped me see it too.
I know heaven will show you a whole new level of happiness.
I'm grateful God gave me you.
I love you so much.
I already miss you.
Comments
Post a Comment