commercialism's gift

Black Friday was an event that filled my childhood shopping dreams.

I grew up in small town, USA, so the idea of this unattainable shopping holiday always thrilled my post thanksgiving child spirit. 

The closest I could dream of Black Friday shopping was a "coincidental" stop at the grocery store on that same day and a purchase from the usual weekly ad. 

Perhaps a slinky would be marked down 5 cents and I'd get lucky with a starred tootsie pop so I'd get a free one- perhaps.

As my age progressed so did my hoped expectations of experiencing this Mecca of shopping holidays.

I'd try to plant seeds.

A suggestion there.

A mention of great savings here- (on precisely my desired Christmas gift mind you).

An accidental slide of an ad there.

My not so subtle sowing never took root.

I didn't understand why my adult keepers would not entertain this one childhood dream.

It wasn't as if it wasn't already the Christmas season and my want list contained at least 10 items. 

Just meet all my holiday demands! 

So then adulthood arrived.

It was finally my season.

I had a small taste of thanksgiving holiday savings first on my trip to NYC. 

But it was not Black Friday. 

My chance to participate in The Black Friday finally arrived. 

I'd convinced other family members to partake of my shopping holiday. 

My excitement for savings could be unmatched by any other human.

I had been lifting weights too; so I knew I could physically out shop any crazy that wanted to take on my crazy. 

We went to Richfield.

No one was there. 

I didn't have to tackle anyone or sprint through the door and dive for my desired goods- it was cordial and refined and everything my extreme shopping dreams were made of.

That $30 in my pocket was extra hot, and with the savings I stretched it an extra 62.45%.

Since my first years experience was so dreamy I decided I would officially celebrate this holiday every year.

Then came Vegas.

When we pulled up to the first store and the line for entrance was 2 blocks long I knew I had entered the big leagues.

Still snagged some great deals and stretched that dollar to a respectable length. 

But those tales of $150 60" big screens were tall. 

Seemingly fictitious unless I camped out for days.

So last year I did it- I camped out, in 36 degree weather and made a party out of the event.

Just kidding- there is no way in hell I would do that. 

I did Black Friday shop in NYC- 

It was the second finest experience of shopping on the holiday that I've had. 

I went later in the day mind you and got some mittens; there was no Bronx shopping for the hottest toy item for this gal;

that could have equated to a broken arm.

My sheltered love for the holiday blossomed.

Then commercialism gave me a special gift.

It called it brown Thursday. 

On its first year of induction I attended and decided I would probably never go again. 

I already had mixed feelings about 

this particular gift. 

Give thanksgiving a chance I say!

It was crazier than any of my Black Friday experiences so me and brown Thursday had an annulment.

This year I fully indulged in cyber shopping. 

I started on thanksgiving and have yet to stop.

You see, I bought things and then found them further discounted so to save $1 I reordered. 

The problem was, to get free shipping I had to spend $50 so to save $1 I had to spend at least $50. 

Worth it.

Then there's this thing called gap cash. 

Which could not be spent until December 1st.

40% off and then 50% off of that if I spend $250!?!

How can I not? 

So technically I got over $400 worth of stuff for $125, and I had a gift card, so I saved even further! 

The savings in spending is just outrageous. 

Then there's bath and body works, and all their coupons, and promos and the trouble that causes.

Why not spend $40 so I can get $15 off and then combine that with a free item!?! 

You say hand soap is 6 for $24 or 4 for $18?

Unless my calculations fail me it's necessary to buy 6. 

That free item? 

Even if I don't love the scent I will max out the value. 

$13 item guaranteed. 

Damn you good deals! 

So to save I've spent, which isn't really saving right? 

But it is! 

That's been my experience this year. 

Cyber shopping and deal finding makes my thrill-joy cup run over. 

I've become converted to the online shopping experience.

I can simultaneously feel like I'm being a good daughter (since my mom is a postmaster aka mail=support), find sweet deals with a flick of the wrist, and anticipate 16 packages. 

This year I've succumbed to my shopping destiny. 

My only regret is we (cyber shopping and myself) couldn't have been introduced in 1987.

My every shopping dream could have been lived my entire life. 

There's nothing I love more than saving outrageous amounts of money on items I didn't need in the first place.

The struggle is real. 

To this end I thank you thanksgiving shopping month.