returning

i've been more than a little unmotivated to write.
i blame this on a few things.
sadness as the main thing.
death as the cause of the main thing.
change as the underlying problem of it all.
the loss that caused my deepest sadness was the person that was my biggest fan as a writer.
so i stopped.
because there'd be no her.
and this reminds me of her.
but now,
a year later,
i've decided,
if i don't write
sorrow is victor.
she wouldn't want such a victor.
so i'm writing again because of her.
because she believed in me.
because my words are best
they are best,
when they are written.
so i'm writing again.
in hopes of becoming a better me.
and expressing me as the best of me.
but also to be a personal victor
over a sadness that will never leave, of which, i must live.