to my mary

dear mary,

you’re about to be a big sister.

which is crazy because you’re only going to be 2 ½.

it’s because of you that i want to have more children.

so when you feel attention deprived please remember i love you so much i want to re-experience all the stages i’ve had the honor experiencing with you.

if you wouldn’t have grown up so fast and if i wouldn’t have loved every stage with you so much we may have waited awhile before we had another child.

i love you so much.

thinking of holding you as a baby makes me lonesome to hold another one.

you’re getting so big you about overfill my arms- a void i’m not ready to leave unfilled.

a void that needs filling because you’ve showed me how having a baby can bring an indescribable amount of joy into my world.  

every second with you has been an epic real life dream.

you are the greatest thing i’ve ever done with my life.

(soon you and this new tiny will be the greatest things I’ve ever done.)

thank you mary for showing me how beautiful life can be.

thank you for teaching me about perfect forgiveness.

about the loveliness of simplicity and the vastness of simple beauties everywhere.

you’ve taught me about real love-

the kind that’s perfectly unselfish

the kind that’s whole self-filling

the kind that’s unbearable upon parting

the kind that’s will altering

the kind that’s perfect in every way.

my life has been a unique kind of happiness ever since you arrived.

a type of happiness i didn’t know existed until i met you.

i look at you and think you can't be mine.

nothing as phenomenal as you could have been partially from me.  

which makes me think- if i can give the world a little more of you than i'll be giving the world something lovely in every single way.

thank you for showing me happiness this way.

you teach me every day.

and i’m grateful every day i get to be your mom.

mom’s the title i’ve always wanted- thank you for making it a reality.

with the arrival of this new baby please know you started it all.

the love

the happiness

the perfection

because there’s you we wanted more.

i love you more than is feasible.

love your mother,

monique