a new lifestyle.
a new baby on the way.
a new toddler stage.
a new job.
a new apartment.
a new place.
a new culture.
new.
new.
new.
new usually means change, and change for me is similar to standing naked in a crowd with no hope of clothing.
every change phase to me has been extreme.
it's best if i go the all or nothing route with this nudity-like business.
i.e. marriage also included graduating from school and moving to vegas.
example 2: when mary was born, we moved, i had knee surgery, and i started a new internship-
now post nyc euphoria- homelessness, turned live-in with parents, changed to provo move, and then a whole mess of lovely changes that came along with all that.
so needless to say i've been a bit of a mess.
i'm dying a little bit every day being away from nyc- i never, ever, ever imagined i could miss a place like i do that gigantic city.
now i'm a working woman which i honestly love my job- i can't imagine loving a job more, but I loathe being away from mary (you working mothers, touché).
so there's a lot of readjusting going on around here.
mary is adjustment champ.
dale is go with the flow authority.
me- well... i'm immerse myself to forget about how weird i feel inside about different; a pro faker.
i grew up my whole life in utah-
i lived a spell in hawaii; my first taste of outside living.
then came vegas- an awakening to the outside world.
finally nyc treated me to a whole new sphere of different.
it was one of the first times in my life that different felt like home to me.
now i'm back in utah.
i have never felt so uncomfortable in a familiar place. ever.
my soul thrives in a minority environment.
different is where it thrives- where differences are embraced and celebrated- and loved.
where everyone is different so tolerance is a way of living.
which surprised me more than i'm sure it has surprised anyone else.
i've been learning to readjust.
a readjustment i never thought would be so hard.
i was due to learn a few lessons from life; it always has perfect timing teaching me.
here's to new, a new that feels like dejavu, but unfamiliar all at the same time.
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